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March
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Reverend Canon Doctor Alan Billings, an Anglican Priest
31/03/09
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)
We're in danger of thinking that greed explains the current financial crisis. Is it really possible that entire boards of bankers were just too greedy and stupid? Can this whole thing really be explained by believing that these highly experien -
Rev Dr Colin Morris, a Methodist Minister and (coincidentally) former head of religious broadcasting and BBC controller in Northern Ireland
30/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Last week we investigated the etymology of the fascinating word "taboo". In today's lesson I want to discuss the phrase "systemic failures". What exactly is a "systemic failure"? One conjures up visions of filing -
Catherine Pepinster, editor of the Catholic newspaper, The Tablet
28/03/09
Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)
The media frenzy over who will be the next Archbigot of Westminster, continues unabated. Competition for the post is fierce. Who has the necessary skills to repeat, parrot fashion, every word uttered by His Extreme Holiness, Reichsführer B -
Chief Rabbit, Sir Jonathan Sacks
27/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Happy two weeks before Passover everyone! Yes, it's that jolly time of year again when we celebrate the genocide of Egyptian first born by our Invisible Magic Friend, the original, the best and only real IMF. Passover is a historical fact, jus -
I think we should be told.
27/03/09
Why was the pope accompanied to Africa by a 7 foot drag queen? Is there something his poopiness isn't telling us? -
Screaming Dom Antony Sutch, a Benedictine Monk
26/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
I'm astonished to hear that some people are afraid to travel on the London Underground. I myself have the courage to realise that the probability of me being affected by any attack on the underground is minimal. The underground stops some way -
Professor Mona Siddiqui, of the University of Glasgow
25/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
I know what you all think about disabled people. You think they're second class citizens, that their lives are worth less than proper people. You want to just shut them all away and pretend they don't exist. I know I do, so you must as we -
Effulgently Reverend Tom Butler, Lord Bishop of Southwark
24/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Jonafan Aitken wantsh to reform our prishons (hic!). He'sh been really inteshted in the welfare of prish'ners ever shince he became one. Ash a poly... (hic!) poly...tician, he used to lie lotsh. He jusht 'ad the mishfrot... mishfrunt -
Rev Dr Colin Morris, a Methodist Minister and (coincidentally) former head of religious broadcasting and BBC controller in Northern Ireland
23/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Josef Fritzl may have been guilty of kidnap, imprisonment, enslavement and rape, but it was incest that made it such a juicy story. You see incest is "taboo". Taboos are the list of things, given to us by God, that we absolutely must neve -
Catherine Pepinster, editor of the Catholic newspaper, The Tablet
21/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Baby OT is to be murdered by the hospital, or as they call it, be allowed to die with "dignity". They all like to use that word "dignity": Dignity in Dying who specialise in murdering old people, "Dignitas" who'll -
Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks
20/03/09
Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)
It's the nightmare that all we famous public speakers dread. The Irish Prime Minister accidentally gave President Obama's speech. While others might lose their temper and spray the room with automatic gunfire, spiritual people, l -
Reverend Dr Giles Fraser, Vicar of Putney
19/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
The conditions at Stafford Hospital have been described as "third world". This is a gross insult. No third world country would have a hospital like that. This is what comes of worshipping bureaucracy. These managers get up in the morning -
Vishvapani (a much nicer name than Simon Blomfield)
18/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Some of you are rich and some of you are poor. Those of you who are poor are probably feeling pretty miserable right now. Your self esteem is probably at an all time low. You're not valued or respected. You feel unequal to people with loads o& -
Inconceivably Reverend Tom Butler, Lord Bishop of Southwark
17/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Happy Shaint Patricksh day (hic!). Cheers! Sheeing ash itsh a shpecial ocassion, I don't mind having one shmall little (hic!) drinky firsht thing. You she Patrick brought Chrishtianity to Ireland, both bits of it. Before that, Ireland wash a w -
Rev Dr Colin Morris, a Methodist Minister and (coincidentally) former head of religious broadcasting and BBC controller in Northern Ireland
16/03/09
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)
Some things are right and other things are wrong. We know this because religion tells us so. The great Christian (and therefore correct) author C.S. Lewis once compared all the great religions. Remarkably, they all said that some things were right -
Canon David Winter
14/03/09
Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)
Jade Goody is dying. Fortunately she just got baptised, so at least her life has been transformed and her soul has been redeemed. Not everyone approves of her rise from B-list celebrity status, but if Jade wants her last few moments of life to be -
Breathtakingly Reverend Lord Professor Bishop Baron Reverend Lord Richard Harries
13/03/09
Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)
Happy comic relief day everyone! Yes, it's that joyous evening of television entertainment that we all look forward to so much all year. All our favourite TV personalities, like Jonathan Ross and Graham Norton, will be getting involved in al -
Professor Mona Siddiqui, of the University of Glasgow
12/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
As Professor of Islamic Studies and Public Understanding and Director of the Centre for the Study of Islam, University of Glasgow, let me just assure you that freedom of expression is a really good thing. The people of Northern Ireland have been fr -
Brian Draper, associate lecturer at the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity
11/03/09
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)
Researchers at the Institute of Neurological Disorders have discovered that religious people use their brains when they're being religious. Not only that, but we use exactly the same brains as we do when we're not being religious. Isn -
Marvelously Reverend Tom Butler, Lord Bishop of Southwark
10/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Binyam Mohammed shays the British helped to torture him. And why not, indeed (hic!) I hear you ask? If it shaves lives then what'sh a little bit of watherboarding (hic!) here and there, or a few voltsh t'the testicles? You shee that' -
Rev Dr. (hon. Kingston) Dr. (hon. St. Andrews) Joel Edwards, the international director of Micah Challenge
09/03/09
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)
Violence has returned to Northern Ireland. After hundreds of years of two religions hating and killing one another, I was shocked, shocked I tell you, that some of them still hate the other religion. Though I was not yet International Director of M -
Canon David Winter
07/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, good news, gospel, rhubarb, rhubarb, redemption, rhubarb, rhubarb, made in god's image, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, good over evil, rhubarb, rhubarb, hope, President Obama, rhubarb, rhubarb, justice, peace, rhubarb, r -
Mind blowingly Reverend Lord Professor Bishop Baron Reverend Lord Richard Harries
06/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Here's something I'll bet you never thought of before: history gets written by the winners. No, honestly, it's true! The people that win always make it sound as if they were the best. How many books have you read by poor, dead, peopl -
Professor Mona Siddiqui, of the University of Glasgow
05/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Sir Fred Goodwin has been called a scumbag millionaire. But this is to vilify one man, a single colossal banker. After all, which of us hasn't created a vast conglomerate with ridiculously exaggerated asset prices and sacked countless thousand -
John Bell, of the Iona Community
04/03/09
Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)
Once on a 38 bus, a drunken Scotsman shouted, "Who gave you penicillin, the tv and the phone. A Scotsman." Then a cockney asked "Who gave you you're whisky?" Then on totally different 38 bus, another drunken Scotsman aske -
Reverend Dr Giles Fraser, Vicar of Putney
03/03/09
Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)
I'm fed up giving trite little homilies based on the bible that make me look like some sort of thicko. I'm a Reverend Doctor and every bit as classically educated as certain other TFTD presenters that shall remain nameless. So today I& -
Rev Dr. (hon. Kingston) Dr. (hon. St. Andrews) Joel Edwards, the international director of Micah Challenge
02/03/09
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Last week I told you how I met a poor person. This week I met a woman. She was struggling with two large heavy suitcases. What should I do? I was on the way to an important meeting as International Director of Micah Challenge, an organisation that
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Reverend Canon Doctor Alan Billings, an Anglican Priest
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