Platitude of The Day 2012-05-17T20:12:56Z Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Copyright 2012, Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty SPHPBLOG Rev Lucy Winkett, Rector of St James Piccadilly, handy for Fortnum and Mason Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)



Happy Ascension Day everybody! On this day, the visible bit of the Invisible Magic Friend was taken up into the sky and is now somewhere beyond the Oort cloud in interstellar space. At some point he'll turn around for his second coming, which Christians have been expecting any day now for the last couple of thousand years. Sometimes the Ascension is depicted literally as some bloke going up into the sky. Of course, when the New Tasty mint says he goes up into the sky, they really meant something quite different. You can tell it's not meant to be taken literally by the fact that it's extremely silly.

Isn't it just amazing how relevant this is even in the modern day and age? You see, when Jesus went up into the sky, even though he really didn't, he left his followers together, alone. Astonishingly, people remain together, alone, to this very day. I met a large group of people on a breast cancer walk the other day. They were all together alone too.

Isn't the economy just terrible! Jesus' Ascension is relevant to that too, even though it didn't literally happen. In these difficult economic times, more and more people are finding themselves together, alone. Youth unemployment is making them together, alone, too, just like with Jesus.

In reality we're all together, alone, with the Invisible Magic Friend and any bits of him that might be floating around between the stars.

Listen]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120517-083439 2012-05-17T00:00:00Z 2012-05-17T00:00:00Z Rev Dr Michael Banner, Dean and Fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

People worship gold instead of the invisible magic friend. Loads of poor people in the third world have really hard time of it mining gold for us and our mobile phones (and by us I mean you). Of course there are loads of poor people in this country too, not mining gold, so I dunno really. Anyway, Jesus.

[Ed. This POTD brought to you by HornsDino.]

Listen]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120516-154209 2012-05-16T00:00:00Z 2012-05-16T00:00:00Z Rev Canon Angela Tilby, Christchurch Cathedral Oxford Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

Isn't death just fascinating? I've always been fascinated by death. That's why I'm so excited by Dying Matters Awareness Week.

My first death was an elderly next door neighbour. I asked his widow lots of fascinating questions that really got me off to a fantastic start in my fascination with death. Of course I didn't have the vocabulary to wax lyrical about death as I do now, still I think I was pretty precocious on all matters deathly, at least for a three year old.

It's all so mysterious and fascinating and strange and mysterious and stuff.

Some people think death is the end and that there's no invisible magic bit to go to heaven or hell. You would think that people like that would be more candid when one of your loved ones dies, and say things like, "Well that's the end of your husband that you've been married to for the last 50 years. He's gone, dead, kaputt, finito, so you just better get used to it." Oddly, they don't. They tend to try and soften the blow, even though they don't believe in the invisible magic afterlife.

Fortunately, there are professionals like me to deal with death. I offer funerals at very reasonable and competitive rates. When it comes to the death industry, there's really no one better in the business. I can provide a wide range of poems, hymns and readings, especially from the Big Book of Magic Stuff.

As to the big question: is there an afterlife? The answer is yes. You can be comforted that your loved ones have definitely gone to heaven to be happy forever, unless they're burning forever in hell of course.

Listen]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120515-081735 2012-05-15T00:00:00Z 2012-05-15T00:00:00Z Rev Dr Giles Fraser - Grumpy Ex Canon Chancellor of St Paul's Cathedral Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

One of the most risk averse of all investment banks, JP Morgan, has just made a $2 billion loss, which, if you think about it, is a bit like having faith in the Invisible Magic Friend.

People had faith that JP Morgan wouldn't make a $2 billion loss. They might be right, they might be wrong, but they had faith and they were wrong. People have faith that the Invisible Magic Friend exists. They might be right, they might be wrong. I mean it's possible the Invisible Magic Friend doesn't exist. No matter how unlikely that might seem, anything is possible.

As Pascal pointed out you've got nothing to loose, so you may as well believe in him anyway, or at least pretend to believe, or worship him just in case. Just make sure you worship him in the correct way.

As a Rev Dr, I'd just like to point out that I can do references to Shakespeare as well: Othello.

Nothing in life is risk free, so trust in the Invisible Magic Friend just as you trusted in JP Morgan.

Listen]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120514-092527 2012-05-14T00:00:00Z 2012-05-14T00:00:00Z The ASA Gestapo and Cranmer Archbishop Cranmer's blog is in trouble with the Advertising Standards authority over an advert against gay marriage.

It probably doesn't come as any great surprise that I'm not a regular reader of Archbishop Cranmer. Anyone claiming to be a long dead archbishop who thought that replacing the Pope with the monarch was socially progressive is clearly going to be quite conservative in their tastes.

That Cranmer is a supporter of the Campaign 4 (less) Marriage is therefore hardly unexpected. C4M has become the rallying banner for those religious conservatives who have had enough of being cruelly persecuted by The Gays (who apparently have taken over from The Jews as the secret cabal who run the world for their own benefit - I'm expecting to see the Protocols of the Elders of Compton Street any day now). That he'd proudly display an advert for C4M is just him displaying his right-on right wing credentials.

The C4M advert contained the following.

1. Picture of couples on their wedding day.
2. The words "I Do".
3. The words "70% of people* say keep marriage as it is ... (Source: ComRes poll for Catholic Voices)".
4. The words "Help us keep the true meaning of marriage. PLEASE SIGN THE PETITION Click here ... Coalition for Marriage".

Now, much as I might dislike C4M and despair that so many people seem to support it, for the life of me I can't see anything objectionable in the above advert.

Unless there's something dodgy about that 70% figure?

Surely C4M, a predominately Christian led campaign wouldn't break a commandment and bear false witness? Surely Christians, renowned for their honesty, openness and superior moral values would not be guilty of something so despicable as fibbing?

Technically, the advert is sort of telling the truth. 83% of the people they asked did oppose Gay Marriage (why they brought it down to 70% is a bit of a mystery). What they neglected to point out was that they were all practising Christians. Now while I'm fully ready to admit that Christians remain people, the 70% figure now looks seriously misleading. It would seem that the Advertising Standards Authority have a reasonable reason to investigate.

Cue howls of Christian Persecution, liberal intolerance, a totalitarian state and the end of freedom of speech.

Whether Cranmer should be held liable for dodgy stats provided by C4M is debatable. Nevertheless, the ASA asked for some justification and suggested that their investigation be kept private. As they make clear on their website, the ASA tries to resolve things informally. But that's not good enough for Cranmer. Like his 16th century namesake, Cranmer most be a martyr and you cannot be a martyr in private.

Yet again, the single defining characteristic of Christianity in this country appears to be their increasingly hysterical claims of persecution, and I use "hysterical" in both senses of the word.

So let Cranmer enjoy his martyrdom at the hands of the hideous, jack booted functionaries of the Advertising Standards Authority, the real Cranmer suffered far worse, at the behest of: devout Christians.

Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120513-090218 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z 2012-05-13T00:00:00Z Canon David Winter, former BBC head of Religious Propaganda Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

Isn't the weather just terrible! It's all Prince Charles' fault, for predicting it. We used to think it was the Invisible Magic Friend's fault. We'd pray to him to give us the right weather, but even when we prayed to give us nice weather in Southend-on-Sea, he still ignored us. Now we know better. Weather is caused by global warming. Before global warming we didn't have any weather.

There was weather in the Big Book of Magic Stuff, even before global warming or scientists. In one of its jolliest stories, the Invisible Magic Friend killed everything except Noah and two kangaroos, two penguins, two staphylococcus aureus etc. In fact Noah took two of everything, except when he took 14 of them. After killing almost everything, the Invisible Magic Friend said sorry to the people he hadn't killed. Then he created rainbows to remind him not to kill everything again.

That's why science has been totally unable to explain rainbows.

Oh, and don't forget Jesus.

Listen]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120512-082623 2012-05-12T00:00:00Z 2012-05-12T00:00:00Z Rev John Bell of the Iona Community Rating 1 out of 5 (Not platitudinous)

Many of the greatest human evils arise when gangs of men, specifically men, not women, act as a group. Whether it's the groupthink that led to the current financial crisis, wage slavery in factories, setting up concentration camps, declaring war, or running terrorist or paedophile networks, in a patriarchal society, it is almost always gangs of men who are the ringleaders. Men will even slaughter one another in the name of the Invisible Magic Friend.

Any group of people can be capable of great evil. A famous theologian said so, so I must be right. You can see this in something as simple as a youth group, where regulars, including those who are normally well behaved, gang up on a new member.

The Rochdale paedophile gang would never have wanted their own daughters to be abused, yet were capable of unspeakable crimes against others' daughters.

It's what men are capable of collectively that we need to be most afraid of.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120511-083919 2012-05-11T00:00:00Z 2012-05-11T00:00:00Z From Norwich, it's the bishop of the week, Glitteringly Reverend Graham James, Lord Bishop of Norwich Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Isn't all this children's entertainment just fantastic! Isn't Punch and Judy just fantastic! Samuel Pepys thought so. With its wife beating and its baby battering, its the perfect children's show.

Aren't children just fantastic! Nowadays, child abuse has gone somewhat out of fashion, although some men still have a bit of catching up to do.

Jesus thought children were fantastic too. If you didn't think children were fantastic before then I'm sure you will now.

Children are great at seeing through stuff that's just phoney and made up. I suppose that's why I find them so irritating.

We could all learn a thing or two from children.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120510-080729 2012-05-10T00:00:00Z 2012-05-10T00:00:00Z Shaikh Abdal Hakim Murad, Muslim Chaplain Cambridge University (the Shaikh formerly known as Tim Winter) Rating 1 out of 5 (Not platitudinous)

Up to one in eight people are carers, looking after sick or elderly family members, many of whom suffer from dementia. They are often isolated and exhausted. Many suffer from depression.

This huge amount of self sacrifice, tells us that perhaps we are not the selfish society that some would have us believe.

For those of us who are not carers, we can do more to help. The advice of a certain well known prophet, was to keep in touch with our parents' friends and so honour both them and their carers.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120509-082411 2012-05-09T00:00:00Z 2012-05-09T00:00:00Z Rev Dr. (hon. Kingston) Dr. (hon. St. Andrews) Joel Edwards, International Director of Micah Challenge, Council Member of the Tony Blair Faith Foundation Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

Isn't democracy just fantastic? The people of France have just elected a new leader. The people have Greece have just voted and have decisively said, we don't know what do to. In Russia, Putin and Medvedev have democratically swapped jobs again.

It's easy to be cynical about democracy. I know many of you long for the good old days, where absolute monarchs, assisted by a small hereditary peerage, decided what was good for you. That's only natural. As Winston Churchill once said, "Democracy's just rubbish."

But we cannot be as dismissive of the will of the people as Churchill was. Democracy after all, was invented by the Invisible Magic Friend. The whole people of Israel elected their first king. Well actually it was only the men. Well no, actually it was only some of the men, the priests actually, some of the priests, well one priest, Saul, who said the Invisible Magic Friend had told him who to make king. It was still democracy, just with a very small electorate.

The New Tasty mint is just choc full of commands to elect democratically accountable governments. Many voters, even in secular countries, continue to have an Invisible Magic Friend, which just goes to show how important he is for democracy.

Many of us just wouldn't be able to vote without the help of the Invisible Magic Friend.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120508-084619 2012-05-08T00:00:00Z 2012-05-08T00:00:00Z Rev Dr Giles Fraser - Grumpy Ex Canon Chancellor of St Paul's Cathedral Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Said Victor Bin Laden, the retired terrorist leader who just couldn't get the staff.

This is the way to deal with evil: to laugh at it. I know, I read it in Harry Potter, where it was written. If there's one thing people who take themselves too seriously can't stand, it's to be laughed at.

Naturally, Terry Eagleton, has something to say about it. As a Marxist Philosopher and an author almost as prolific as Barbara Cartland, he certainly doesn't take himself too seriously. He followed Saint Augustine, who used to think evil was a real force in the world, then he decided it wasn't, and it was this latter view that was correct.

Evil is not glamorous or powerful, it is cold and meaningless. Freud said something about evil too and Freud was terribly clever.

Evil isn't some supernatural reality in the way that other supernatural realities are. For that to be true there'd have to be some supernatural embodiment of evil, like a fallen angel or something. That's just silly.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120507-092927 2012-05-07T00:00:00Z 2012-05-07T00:00:00Z April Clemmies Well, it's that time of the month again: Clemmie time!

Not a bad crop at all this month. Unusually, Rev Lucy Winkett managed to appear twice. Her first outing explored the frequently brought up topic of art and religion, religion and art, religious art, arty religion etc. She topped this with the revelation that religious people are just so much better than the rest of us, which is why they're in charge.

Not to be outdone, Anne Atkins also appears twice this month. First we learned that the concerns of Pilate's wife were every bit as real as those of two fictional speeches from women in plays. Then we learned that Jesus approves of us having a sense of smell.

Both women have two extraordinarily platitudinous contributions this month. Oddly enough, the remaining ones are all from different men. This proves that the Koran is quite correct when it says that a woman's testimony is only worth half that of a man.

Mostly Irrelevant Vincent Nichols lived up to his title by being... well... mostly irrelevant. He waffled on about what a brilliant Christian David Cameron is, how Christianity is a religion of peace, tolerance and love (except for they who shall not be named) and finished by reminding us of the FACT, the definite 100% historical, no doubt about it, I'll eat my boxer shorts if it's not a FACT, of the temporary death of the visible bit of the Invisible Magic Friend on the cross.

Shaikh Abdal Hakim Murad was delighted at all the "multi-faith" prayer rooms that are popping up all over the country. In time this will make us as tolerant as Indonesia.

Finally, we had Rhidian Brook. Rhidian told us that the newspapers made up stuff about a party that he and some fellow celebrities were attending. Nevertheless you should continue to believe everything you read in the newspapers. In fact, you should believe everything that's written down in general, especially the Gospels. They're so detailed. If it weren't for all that detail you might think that some of it had been made up.

It's not often that we get a theme running through TFTD but there seemed to be one this month. Anne Atkins gave us the power of women's voices in the written word. Vincent Nichols was keen to emphasise the FACT of the crucifixion as depicted in the Gospels. Rhidian Brook seems to think that everything that's written down must be true, despite the fact that he himself writes fiction. Even one of the non-contenders this month, Graham James, claimed that stories acquire authority just by being written down.

Rhidian Brook combined this theme with spectacular cognitive dissonance. He actually started with a perfect example of just how unreliable the written word often is and contrived to use this as evidence that the Gospels should be relied upon. For this, he wins this month's Clemmie.

At the centre of the moon lies the primordial delicious chocolate hobnob, placed there by the great biscuit make itself for the afternoon tea of all mankind.

It is written.]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120506-064238 2012-05-06T00:00:00Z 2012-05-06T00:00:00Z Vishvapani (a much nicer name than Simon Blomfield) - I'm ordained you know! Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)

There's a big Buddhist festival coming up. Happy Buddha Day everyone!

On Buddha day we celebrate our release from captivity and making our way to the promised land. No, no-no-no-no-no-no-no that's some other religion. On Buddha Day we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savio... No, no-no-no-no-no-no-no that's some other religion too. On Buddha Day we recall the teachings of the 6th Guru who... No, no-no-no-no-no-no-no that's yet another religion.

What is it we celebrate on Buddha Day again? It'll come to me, just give me a moment.

Got it! On Buddha Day we celebrate the Buddha achieving enlightenment. Many artists' impressions of the Buddha show him at the moment where enlightenment is first achieved. There are lots of descriptions of enlightenment, but they're all different, so giving you any of them won't be very enlightening. Whatever it is, it's what all we Buddhists strive for. When the Buddha first got it, he was seen to smile as he looked within himself and said, "Aha! That's enlightenment!" That's what we see on all the artists impressions of the Buddha.

Somehow I need to connect this with a news story. We're celebrating Buddha Day. There are depictions of the Buddha made by artists. Edvard Munch was an artist. He created The Scream. It's the exact opposite of someone who has just found enlightenment. That's very enlightening. Someone with $120m to spare has just bought one of the painted versions. That's pretty enlightening too.

Learning to appreciate depictions of the Buddha has led me to appreciate art in general. It's all very enlightening really.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120505-082956 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z 2012-05-05T00:00:00Z Right Awful Anne Atkins - Agonising Aunt and Vicar's Wife Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Aren't murder mysteries just fascinating? We all enjoy a good whodunnit. Take the death of Gareth Williams. It's the not knowing, the lack of a resolution to the mystery that is so troubling. It's the same with the missing girl Madeleine McCann. We're puzzled about what happened to her.

Can you think of a gruesome death that isn't a mystery children? Yes, it's Jesus! We know exactly, where, when, who, why, how. We have multiple, supposedly independent, eye witness accounts, written down only 40 years after it happened by people who directly knew someone who had heard about it. The fact that so many people believed it happened just goes to show that it must be true. After all, how could so many people be so gullible as to believe a story that it so utterly implausible.

And that's so relevant to the Gareth Williams and Madeleine McCann stories.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120504-091337 2012-05-04T00:00:00Z 2012-05-04T00:00:00Z Rhidian Brook, writer, celebrity and Christian Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

I was burgled this week, while I was in the house. This made me angry. It isn't just about the stolen goods, it's about the violation of my property. Although I wasn't physically assaulted, it felt as if I'd been beaten up. Then the questions started. What if they'd been armed? What if they came back? I became more cautious and more suspicious.

Then I asked myself, what would the Invisible Magic Friend think? Well, he want me to pray for the two thieves. Yeah, in your dreams, Invisible Magic Friend. Then again, there's no real need to pray for them. The visible bit of the Invisible Magic Friend, temporarily died so that he could forgive them, which was really brilliant of him, wasn't it?

Meanwhile, I'll bolt the door in future.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120503-080636 2012-05-03T00:00:00Z 2012-05-03T00:00:00Z Shaikh Abdal Hakim Murad, Muslim Chaplain Cambridge University Rating 1 out of 5 (Not platitudinous)

As this is essentially a eulogy for a friend who was brutally murdered, once again a parody would be inappropriate.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120502-075603 2012-05-02T00:00:00Z 2012-05-02T00:00:00Z Oops! For the first time in, I don't know how many years, I over-slept.

Anyone got any idea what Thought For The Day was about?

[Update - OK, a bit late today, but I agree, this deserves to be graded so it can be considered for a Clemmie.]

Rev Dr Dr Joel Edwards

Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

The Queen's Gallery is exhibiting some of Leonardo Da Vinci's anatomical drawings.

That's great because it allows me to say words like "anatomical", "meticulous" and "renaissance" and phrases like "cirrhosis of the liver."

I get to rattle off a whole load of admirable professions: sculptor, mathematician, engineer, architect, inventor - and he did some paintings too.

Yet despite his genius, Leonardo Da Vinci, a meticulous, renaissance polymath, thought the soul was located in the brain. Yes, I know, it's easy to titter at such naivety, but you have to understand, renaissance polymaths of genius didn't have the advanced understanding of the soul that we have today.

You can't blame a meticulous, renaissance polymath for being that gullible though. He got it from Aristotle, an ancient Greek, genius, philosopher and meticulous polymath. He thought the soul was located in the brain too.

Having astounded you with my amazing, in depth knowledge of renaissance and ancient Greek geniuses, I now want to go on to correct their erroneous description of the soul. In fact, this whole first half of my talk, the bit about brilliant renaissance and ancient Greek polymaths, was entirely so that I could talk to you about the soul, of which their ideas were incorrect.

The soul is not in fact located in the brain. The soul is actually your invisible magic bit, created for you by the Invisible Magic Friend. It was created in the Invisible Magic Friend's image as you can see from the fact that both are invisible and magic.

How do you lose your invisible magic bit? How does the invisible magic bit die? Does your invisible magic bit go to heaven? These are huge questions that even a meticulous, renaissance genius like Leonardo Da Vinci got wrong.

Now for a little Thought For The Day joke to lighten the mood a little bit: the soul is not restricted to "soul music". Ha ha! Oh you gotta laugh!

The invisible magic bit is stronger than death, although it can die. I say that so that you'll be mystified by my in depth theological understanding of invisible magic stuff.

The invisible magic bit is capable of great things and also of great silliness, especially when it's drunk or having a bad trip.

When the invisible magic bit's drunk or having a bad trip, it definitely isn't in the image of the Invisible Magic Friend.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120501-084036 2012-05-01T00:00:00Z 2012-05-01T00:00:00Z From Norwich, it's the bishop of the week, Swankingly Reverend Graham James, Lord Bishop of Norwich Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous)

Isn't the Levenson enquiry just fascinating?

No say a lot of young people. "Rupert who?" they ask.

Sales of newspapers continue to decline rapidly. Yet what is written in them continues to set the news agenda. We tend to invest more authority in what is written than what is said unthinkingly in idle conversion. An insult delivered in the heat of the moment can be easily ignored. A written insult, that someone has put some real thought and effort into, is more widely appreciated.

Scriptures are written down. That's what makes them every bit as reliable as newspapers. If Rupert Murdoch had been around in Jesus' day he would have written the letters of Saint Paul, or even the Gospels. They really are that authoritative.

Much of what is written these days is on social networks or texts. They are meant to be casual conversations, but they have the permanence of the written word. So be careful what you write.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120430-095006 2012-04-30T00:00:00Z 2012-04-30T00:00:00Z Brian Draper, Associate lecturer at the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Brian here, in Southampton, an associate lecturer at the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity where we envision and equip Christians and their churches for whole-life missionary discipleship in the world, seek to serve them with biblical frameworks, practical resources, training and models so that they flourish as followers of Jesus and grow as whole-life disciplemaking communities. Hi.

I'll bet you all got really excited over the London Marathon last week. I'm sure you were all running in it, or at the very least, if your weren't running it yourself, you almost certainly knew someone who did. Or if you weren't running in it yourself, and didn't know someone who was, even though you almost certainly did, you would even more certainly have sponsored someone who was. Or if you weren't running in it yourself, and didn't known anyone who was, and hadn't sponsored someone, you undoubtedly got caught up in all the excitement of the big day, or watched it on telly or had some connection with the London Marathon. I'll eat my boxer shorts if you didn't!

Sadly, people die running the marathon. The question is, why are we sad when a young person, trying to help others, taking part in a fun day out, suddenly dies? Why on earth do we care? Why are we moved? Why do we get emotional about it? What is it that tugs at our heart? Why aren't we selfish and self obsessed and cold and uncaring?

The answer is, it's being spiritual. It's like Fabrice Muamba who had a heart attack while playing football. Everybody prayed really hard for him. Doctors, paramedics and nurses spent hours praying over him, and thanks to being spiritual he got better.

You don't really need to listen to any more of this thought because it's basically just me saying what I already said on the BBC website.

Listen/Read]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120428-091720 2012-04-28T00:00:00Z 2012-04-28T00:00:00Z Godfrey Bloom MEP Just got my copy of this week's Newsline and have come across the ghastly Godfrey Bloom MEP for the first time. I sincerely hope it's also the last time. Mr Bloom wrote an article defending the hotel owners who didn't want to serve a gay couple.

It's factually inaccurate, but contains such splendid observations as: "Especially, those as shallow as we have now; many bred from that appalling 1960s and 1970s generation."

Well, that should see off about a quarter of his electorate.

NSS Executive Director, Keith Porteous Wood, emailed him asking him to make some corrections. He got an email back from his secretary telling him not to be impertinent. Mr Bloom did reply in the end though. Here's what he wrote. It's quite astonishing.

1. A business, any business, in a free society, should be allowed to contract freely or decide not to contract, with whomever it wishes. This is a basic principle of civilised society, and it makes the UK and places where the influence of the British Empire have decisively and lastingly touched, such as the Commonwealth, superior places to live in. If the Christian hotel want to only contract with Christians of evangelical stamp, or even Assemblies of God Pentecostal evangelical stamp only, or Plymouth Brethren only, it is their business, not yours.

2. The coercion by government diktat does not become less despotic when it is blandly called 'the law'. The law may be an ass or an asset. Adolf Hitler made many laws for his inglorious Third Reich, and duly eliminated millions of Jews and homosexuals, but the fact that they called it 'the law' merely proved that the law can stink off the page of the book to high heaven, if I may use so telling a phrase to the Secular Society. If the law be not moral it is a bad law: it is no law. Politicians exist to change bad law, even those in the EU Parliament.

3. Western civilization was founded upon Christian values, not secular values. Your society is unnecessary and misguided, and contributes to the decay of Western civilization. Your principles are parochial, subject to the lobby group de jour, and limited to the mere wrangling of passing technicalities in legal terms. You are negative not positive in your approach. We know what you are against very clearly, if you are for anything positive, I have yet to divine it, if I may use so telling a term replying to the Secular Society. Please disband yourself.

4. Your points concern mere positive law, not substantive natural law based on true values. True values are based in natural law, which is objective, universal, and eternal in scope in application to human society. I am sure you are familiar with the pagan glimmerings of light which shine through in the famous exchange between Antigone and King Kreon in Sophocles' play, 'Antigone', which states precisely this in the 5th century BC. "Laws are for a day, but eternal principles cannot be changed." How else would we judge good and bad laws if a morality above it did not exist? Of course many parallel examples exist in Sumero-Babylonian, ancient Egyptian, and early Hebrew texts, among others, you may be familiar with some of them.


The new politeness regulations are arbitrarily suspended for all discussion of this arrogant, obnoxious twat.]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry120427-160450 2012-04-27T00:00:00Z 2012-04-27T00:00:00Z