Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim, in the name of Allah, the beneficent, the merciful, take care not to use words, cartoons or teddy bears that offend against, the most holy, most mighty, most incredibly insecure Allah. Worship thee not thy foul, blasphemous teddy bears, nor raise them up as teddy bear idols, nor name them after the good and loving Prophet (PBUH) lest he be mistaken for a teddy bear. Scourge, imprison and demean all who would dare bow down before an inanimate cuddly toy. Know ye now that there cannot be, nor shall there ever be any freedom to criticise the least aspect of any religion, no matter how insane, absurd, ancient or self-contradictory it may be. Obey the words of Allah...

...or else.

Best wishes

Your invisible magic friend

Allah

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