Friday, 19 September, 2008, 08:28 AMRating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)
I've got one great big metaphor for you today: bulls. Yes, in a striking case of irony, that no one else spotted, Damien Hirst's Golden Calf went on sale. Meanwhile, the great bull of Wall St. has come crashing to the ground. Oh, but wait, this gets even better. Just like the Israelites' golden calf, these are both false idols that are worshipped by the masses. Oh, oh, oh, sometimes I surpass even myself, but then what would you expect from such a famous writer, celebrity and Christian. And there's more. When people ask their idols for help, they don't reply. I mean, how stupid do you have to be to worship inanimate objects, or the pursuit of wealth? Who's ever been happy and secure just because they've had loads of money? What a bunch of cretins. My Invisible Magic Friend on the other hand, always replies. Yes, he's speaking to me right now. Can't you hear him? Oh how I love my Invisible Magic Friend. He's always there for me.