Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Happy Shaint Patricksh day (hic!). Cheers! Sheeing ash itsh a shpecial ocassion, I don't mind having one shmall little (hic!) drinky firsht thing. You she Patrick brought Chrishtianity to Ireland, both bits of it. Before that, Ireland wash a wild, (hic!) unruly place, full of all shorts of bad people who followed the wrong religion. I think I can shay, without fear of (hic!) contraception, that Chrishtianity hash made Northern Ireland what it ish today.

But d'you know what? I'll tell you what. D'you know, he didn't really drive the shnakes out of (hic!) Ireland. No! Shnakes never revolved in Ireland, which wash under the shea (hic!) with ice in it. Ice? Yesh please, two lumpsh. Cheers! But there's shtill shum shnakes there (hic!), who're not proper Chrishtians at all and go around shooting shouldiers. Thank goodnesh there'sh people of faith around to shtand up to them! (hic!)

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