Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

What with the Iraq war enquiry, and hospital enquiries and this, that and the other enquiries, everyone wants to hold someone to account. It's all very vulgar and democratic - self righteous victims or bereaved relatives demanding to know who is responsible. I certainly prefer the far more civilised approach of me telling you things and you just listening, with none of this irritating criticism.

"Judge not, lest ye be judged - by me that is, 'cos I'm God," said Jesus. You'd better be careful going around condemning someone as holy as Saint Tony of Bliar. You too could end up being condemned for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people that you killed in good faith.

We're starting Advent, where we Christians pulse with hope, palpitate with anticipation, throb with eagerness. We roll out stock phrases like feed the hungry, clothe the poor and sort the sheep from the goats. We look forward to the return of Jesus, who hasn't returned in any of the previous 2,000 Christmases, so there's a fair chance this year will be it. Isn't that something to look forward to? A whole four weeks of us telling you all about the true meaning of Christmas and its deep spiritual connection with the Iraq war enquiry.

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