Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Everyone's going bonkers about conkers. But seriously though, life is a risky business. The big question is, why did the all loving, all knowing, all powerful Invisible Magic Friend make the world so hazardous and cruel? Some who are less reverend than me might just say that there are no easy answers, but being the Devastatingly Reverend Lord Professor Bishop Baron that I am, I will quote Dostoyevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov", a book read by clever people like me. "It's not God that I don't accept, Alyosha, only I most respectfully return him the ticket," says Ivan the sullen and depressed atheist who eventually goes mad. I think the relevance is clear.

You cannot possibly understand the ways of the Invisible Magic Friend, snivelling, ignorant worm that you are, but I shall endeavour to explain it to you. The Invisible Magic Friend allows cruelty, injustice and random disaster to afflict you because he is a loving father who must allow you to go your own way. Like the mountain climber, you are an adult and have chosen to expose yourself to risk by being alive. So there.

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