Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Forget about the World Cup, the oil spillage, Bloody Sunday and spending cuts. The really big news is that my son was stopped and questioned at Luton airport last week. What made it worse was the officer trying to relieve the tension with a smile and a joke. It was only when another police officer realised my son was with me that he was allowed to continue.

We muslims are renowned for our relaxed and easy going attitude, so why on earth would they pick on us? I wasn't even dressed like a Muslim, so how did they know we were Muslims? This kind of thing really makes me angry. Now I haven't got a chip on my shoulder, but stopping Muslims is just being racist. In reality they should be stopping everyone except Muslims. Do you want we Muslims to feel alienated? 'Cos trust me, you won't like us when we feel alienated. This is precisely the kind of unthinking discrimination against decent, hard working professors and their families that causes a breakdown in trust.

Obviously security has to be tight at airports so that me and my son can fly safely, but random checks on passengers shouldn't be made on respectable people like us. It's an outrage that security checks should apply to me our any of my relatives. They should be targeting all those little old white ladies who are always causing trouble, with their elasticated stockings and mobility scooters. And when these other people get stopped by security checks they should bear the delay with patience and fortitude. I'll bet they never, ever stop little old white ladies - the fascists.

As the Koran wisely says, "You have been made as different nations and tribes, so I can have a good laugh when you fail to get along."

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