Canon David Winter, former BBC head of Religious Propaganda  
Saturday, 14 May, 2011, 07:39 AM - Winter
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Isn't the Queen just fantastic.

God save our gracious Queen!
Long live our noble Queen!
God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us,
God save the Queen.

She does her duty. She's now nearly done her duty as long as Queen Victoria. Long live her gracious majesty Queen Victoria! God bless ye maaaarm.

In doing her duty, the Queen is following the stern voice of the Invisible Magic Friend. Doing your duty isn't popular with the younger generation. Soldiers, the police, fire service, nursing, teaching - you name it, youngsters these days are just bone idle and don't want to do their duty. Not like her majesty, who always does her duty. Even when the whole country went temporarily insane over the death of Diana, her glorious and most noble majesty did her duty.

Despite her horrible anus she continued to do her duty dutifully. Some weird people seem to think that having a hereditary head of state who must be born into the Windsor family is a bizarre idea, but even they think the queen does her duty.

There can only be one reason why this short, plain woman who writes the most boring speeches can be so popular. It's because she does her duty. Duty's a good thing and the Queen does it wonderfully. I can't think of anyone who does her duty the way the Queen does her duty. The one thing you can be absolutely sure about, is that the Queen always does her duty, because it's her duty to do her duty, which she does most dutifully. You know, I could squeeze in a "Sir" after the "Canon", I was head of BBC religious propaganda after all.

The Big Book of Magic Stuff says it's your duty to obey the Invisible Magic Friend. So if you want to be like our amazing and most august and distinguished monarch, you should do your duty and obey the Invisible Magic Friend and those who speak for him.

That's not the only place where the Big Book of Magic Stuff mentions duty. In the New Tasty mint, Saint Paul tells us that it's our duty to be nice to our slaves. I'm sure the Queen, who always does her duty, is nice to all of her slaves.

God bless yer most dutiful Majesty!

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