Rev Rosemary Lain-Priestly 
Wednesday, 21 March, 2007, 08:09 AM
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous).

BA has been giving dead passengers 1st class seats, which seems a rather extreme way to get an upgrade. But, never fear, it'll soon be Easter, celebrating the time when Christ rose from the dead, like in Titian's painting. Mary Magedelene didn't realise he was the risen Christ because he was doing the gardening at the time. Now, just for one moment, try to imagine that Christ hadn't rose from the dead (I know it's difficult, but just bear with me). Wouldn't that be just awful. It means those 1st class passengers would never get a complimentary champagne again. It would mean that I'd spent my entire life believing a wishful thinking fantasy. I mean there must be something mustn't there? Therefore there is.

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Akhandadhi Das 
Tuesday, 20 March, 2007, 07:42 AM
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous).

It's 4 years to the day since we invaded Iraq, and for some reason Iraqis are not happy. This is partly due to the foreign occupation of their land and partly to do with bombs going off all over the place and a police force that kidnaps, tortures and murders at will. There's a Hindu story from the Puranas about this. The land is unruly and the people are suffering, so they make a strong man king. He sorts out the law and order problem but turns out to be a tyrant. So they get rid of him. This frees the people, but chaos returns again. Then they decide to appoint a nice king instead, who'll be a little bit strong, but not too much. So there you have it. Iraq needs a nice king, which the Iraqis will get when they deserve it.

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Jonathan Bartley 
Monday, 19 March, 2007, 07:42 AM
Rating 2 out of 5 (A little platitudinous).

My son is disabled and uses a wheelchair. Unlike David Cameron though, I don't get private jets to take me to see new models. I tried to get junior into the local school. They told me he was a "health and safety hazard". Bollocks! They don't want to be bothered looking after a disabled child more like. "Do you know who I am?" I said. "I do Thought For the Day on the Today programme. I can bring all this up on air you know." Just so this counts as a religious rant I better mention that Jesus said to let disabled children into schools and Didymus the Blind was known as the seer because he was so wise. This is my final warning Mr. Headmaster. Next time I'm naming names!

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Rev. Dr. Giles Fraser 
Saturday, 17 March, 2007, 10:34 AM
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous).

Hello Mum! It's your son, Rev. Dr. Giles Fraser here. Happy Mother's Day! Or is it Mothering Sunday, where we all go to our Cathedral Church for the day, even our servants? I prefer the cheesy version, with cards and flowers and breakfast in bed. Mother's day is really all about war. Time for a rousing chorus of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! His truth is marching on.

Sadly, war involves people dying. So this Mother's day, let's think of Iraq and pray for peace. You never know, God might just fix the 1400 year old sectarian schism between Sunni and Shia.

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Chief Rabbi, Jonathan Sacks 
Friday, 16 March, 2007, 07:59 AM
Rating 2 out of 5 (a little platitudinous).

Happy Red Nose Day everyone! All over the country, silly things are happening to cheer us up and help good causes. I knew some holocaust survivors who saved themselves from despair by promising to find something to laugh at each day. So humour really does save lives, which makes it a spiritual thing. The late Cardinal Basil Hume took God seriously, but not himself, making him righteous but not self-righteous. Humour and humanity belong together.

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Rev. Angela Tilby 
Thursday, 15 March, 2007, 08:28 AM
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous).

As Morgan Tsvangirai lay on his hospital bed after treatment for internal bleeding and a fractured skull, his thoughts would not have been of political tyranny, censorship and lack of democratic transparency in Zimbabwe. No, he would undoubtedly have been thinking of St. Paul. St. Paul knew all about tyrants, including at least one who hadn't been invented yet. St. Paul told us what to look out for in tyrants and how to deal with them - they'll eventually just go away. I bet you're glad we have St. Paul to tell us about tyrants.

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Oliver McTernan 
Wednesday, 14 March, 2007, 08:01 AM
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous).

David Lodge's book How Far Can You Go is a book about Catholic morality, i.e. sex. But being moral also involves being environmental. The bible says this, therefore it's true, even though we've only just noticed. This means we all have to stop flying and start cycling to work, except me. I work for Forward Thinking. For us to fix the Middle East and Africa I just have to fly a lot. So you lot don't have to think about being environmental, but people like me now have to struggle with our consciences.

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Dr. Indarjit Singh 
Tuesday, 13 March, 2007, 11:33 AM
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous).

I was at the yesterday's Commonwealth Service in Westminster Abbey (Shilpa Shetty got invited too, as did the queen. In fact, everyone important was there). We've all got to learn to get along and respect one another. That's what the Gurus said. Most religions say something like that. I expect this'll be news to people without a religion. Our 9th Guru got killed trying to protect one religious lot from killing a different one, so you can see that religion really helps when it comes to respecting one another.

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Clifford Longley 
Monday, 12 March, 2007, 07:45 AM
Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous).

Modern celebrities are just rubbish. Nothing more than insubstantial fashion icons. God, they're just hopeless aren't they? Celebrities from the past were much better, like 19th century generals. Now there were some proper celebrities, making the world a better place. But people nowadays don't seem to pay any attention to the past and this is Christianity's trouble. That's why people don't listen to Jesus any more, who existed 2,000 years ago and was definitely God. It's nothing to do with religion being a morally outdated, male dominated, hierachical social control structure.

Humans are like a pack of dogs - we all need a top dog to look up to, and Jesus is the one for me. The world wouldn't be where it is today without Jesus. Mark my words, people will listen to him again one day, once they've figured out how trashy modern celebs are.

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Brian Draper 
Saturday, 10 March, 2007, 11:29 AM
Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous).

I was recently a guest of a prison chaplain where I sat in on a muderer's apology for his crime. He spoke of his realisation that he had many victims: families, communities, medical staff; not just the person he had killed. Perhaps he was on his way to some form of restitution for his crime. The Lord Chief Justice thinks reformed murderers should be let out, but Moses disagreed: an eye for an eye. And Jesus says we'll get roasted just for thinking about poking someone in the eye.


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