"In recent years there have been a long string of cases where the beliefs and wishes of KKK people have been relegated below the rights of certain other groups," said Baroness "Stonewall" Jackson. "We believe it is high time the balance was redressed and that employers are required to make reasonable accommodation for ordinary KKK members. After all, they do it for disabled people, we think we should be treated as disabled too."
The move follows reports of a British Airlines check-in desk attendant who was sacked for wearing a large pointy white hat while on duty.
"It's an utter disgrace," said the utterly disgruntled ex-employee. "Sikhs and Muslims are allowed exceptions from the uniform rules but as soon as an indigenous white racist asks for the same treatment, equality goes out the window. It's blatant double standards. We're loosing what it means to be British."
Similar stories of bias against the KKK have come from other parts of the country. A council in the north of England transferred one of it's drivers from delivery duties simply because of KKK symbols in his van.
"I've never had any problems," said the van driver. "I've had this very discreet golliwog hanging from a noose on my rear view mirror for years. The only people who complained were those who are prejudiced against the KKK. It just seems that no one cares about our rights any more."
One of the most famous cases of KKK beliefs being marginalised, was the Hackney registrar, Robert E. Lee, who refused to marry black people.
"I'm not bigoted," said Mr. Lee, "but it's against my deepest and most sincerely held beliefs to assist in the procreation of inferior races. The council could easily have accommodated my beliefs. They could have adjusted the rota so that I only had to preside over white weddings. Doctors get a conscience clause to opt out of abortions, this is no different."
There is a growing feeling among extreme right wing, hate campaigners that they are being persecuted for their beliefs. The owners of a Devon guest house, who turned away a black couple, have had their rights repeatedly undermined by the courts. As a result, many feel that they cannot even be loyal KKK members in the privacy of their own homes.
"Judges, council officials and managers just don't seem to understand Ku Klux Klan feelings on a whole range of issues," said Baroness Jackson. "There should be no hierarchy of rights. Those who hold to traditional beliefs deserve the same respect as inferior people."
Comparisons with Christians demanding similar exceptional treatment and the right to openly discriminate against gay people were denied by the former Archbigot of Canterbury, Lord Notcarey.
It turns out most Christians don't believe that Jesus was the Invisible Magic Friend after all. This is not surprising and nothing to get excited about. Most Hindus don't believe in any of that rubbish either.
What this means is that people are searching for religion and spirituality. Even atheists are. I think you'll find that most atheists secretly believe in the Invisible Magic Friend, life after death and that there's an indeterminate something other than this rather boring, uninteresting universe. After all, it is impossible to prove that anything you might think up does not exist, therefore there's a 50-50 chance that it either does or does not exist.
And if there really isn't something beyond this boring, tedious old universe, then where does altruism come from? Eh? Eh? You can't answer that Mr. oh-so-clever evolutionary biologist can you? Which means the only possible explanantion is that the Invisible Magic Friend didit. So maybe you should be just a little more humble when we suggest that the universe was created by an Invisible Magic Friend specifically for us.
Religion and secularism are of course complete opposites of one another. True secularism does not favour one set of beliefs over another. That's why attacking the official state religion and questioning its right to run everything is being intolerant, hypocritical, narrow minded and shrill. You might only use words and arguments rather than burning people, but I think you can see that it's really pretty much the same thing.
So in conclusion let's all have a respectful debate where the atheists and secularists just shut up and listen to us talking.
Great Uncle Dr Lord Indarjit Singh JP, CBE, Baron Wimbledon, Director of the Network of Sikh Organisations
Well some people are certainly getting in quite a tizz over this. The high court has ruled that councils don't have the power to impose religion on people. Well, you won't find me getting in a tizz over this, just because a tiny minority of loud mouthed, militant secularists, go poking their noses in where they're not wanted. I'm not going to make a big fuss over them imposing on good religious people the fact that we can't impose on others. Who on earth gave judges the right to tell councils that they have to obey the law anyway?
All those councillors wanted to do was say a few prayers and burn some incense. So what if they wanted a gospel choir singing in the balcony? Anyone would think it was some sort of distraction from the proper business of the council. These intolerant secularists are totalling anti-democratic. The council has repeatedly voted to sprinkle the council chamber with holy water. They specifically said that they would only sacrifice a goat now and then and only on special occasions.
What happened to live and let live, eh? Where nice religious people like me are allowed to run everything and everyone else is tolerant by letting us do it? This constant attempt to bully Christians into not telling everyone else what to do, has got to stop. I'm all in favour of Christianity being in charge until such times as people see the light and let Sikhs be in charge.
These, shrill, prejudiced, godless bigots, who don't even come to inter-faith buffets, want to completely ban people form learning about religious beliefs. What about faith schools, where people learn about their own beliefs and everyone else's wrong beliefs?
It's about time these narrow minded, militant secularists just shut up and let us talk all the time without any criticism, as is properly done, here on Thought For The Day.
It's been a bad few days for freedom of religion.
First, a tiny band of militant secularists, who are by definition shrill, have thwarted the democratic will of Bideford Town Council. The council had repeatedly voted to impose Christian prayers during council sessions on all councillors present. Their perfectly reasonable, Christian, compromise, that those who didn't wish to pray could get out of their seats, make their way out of the chamber, stand outside, wait for the religious ceremony to complete, come back inside, make their way to their seats again and take part in the remainder of the council business, was spitefully rejected.
Now, in an astonishing ruling, a High Court judge no less, has said that the councillors will have to say their prayers before, yes - you heard me correctly, before the council meeting. He has thus opened the floodgates to the slippery slope that will result in the banning of the national anthem, the disestablishment of the Church of England, the removal of the monarchy and the proscription of all religious activities anywhere, forever. We are just one step away from a totalitarian communist regime and the end of civilisation.
Fortunately, we have our knight in shining armour, Eric Pickled. He will return proper authority to local councils so they can say as many Christian prayers as they want throughout council meetings. They'll also be able to say mass, enjoy a nice choral evensong, pray to Allah or slaughter a goat if they wish.
Sadly, there seems to be no such respite for the poor, persecuted, Christian B&B owners who simply told a pair of cruel, heartless homosexuals that there was no room at the inn, at least for them. And no, they didn't have a stable either. Why can't these homosexuals just read the sign outside?
"No blacks, no Irish, no dogs, no homosexuals. Go find yourself a less godly place to lay your sinful heads for the night."
I mean, what could anyone possibly object to about that?
In an even greater affront, not only to freedom of religion but also to freedom of speech, three Muslim men have been unjustly sent to jail, just for calling for homosexuals to be executed. Secularists are all in favour of freedom of speech until it is used to preach God's word, or in this case Allah's word. They were merely expressing a view that gays should be hung by the neck, or thrown from a great height, or slowly crushed under a large weight of rocks. Similar policies have been highly successful in many Islamic countries in discouraging sinful behaviour.
I wish to make it absolutely clear to their fellow inmates, these are good Muslim men who want nothing to do with any kind of homosexual behaviour. They intend to spend the next 15 months meditating and praying and not getting up to any sort of hanky panky at all.
His Grace, Bishop Angaelos, Patriarchal Exarch for the Youth Ministry at the Patriarchal Center and the Coptic Orthodox Theological College, Stevenage
Tuesday, 27 December, 2011, 08:19 AM - Christian persecutionRating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)
Things are not going well for Christians in the Middle East. We used to be top religion, where everybody did what we told them to. Now another religion is top religion and they're making life very difficult for us.
Some Christians in the Middle East have already celebrated Christmas, unlike the Coptic Church, which, more properly, uses the correct Julian calendar - an eternal calendar, that is not swayed by the passing fashions of astronomical alignments. Whether they use a heretical calendar or not, Christians are increasingly having to flee from the Middle East to seek a more favourable climate in other traditional Christian centres, such as Stevenage.
You would think that the recent revolutions and the arrival of democracy would make things better for Christians. It turns out that the rule of the majority, when the majority all belong to the top religion, seems to make things even worse for non-top religions. I think there may be a message in here somewhere about mixing religion with politics and the benefits of a secular society, but for the life of me I can't think what it might be.
Some of the people from the top religion are even manipulating the feelings of the electorate. Yes, I know, shocking isn't it?
Fortunately, we can place our trust in the visible bit of the Invisible Magic Friend, who arrived 2,000 years ago proclaiming peace and hope in the Middle East. Things have just been getting better and better there ever since, apart from the occasional little hiccup like the current century and most of the previous ones.
The Archbepop of Cadbury met with Robert Mugwewe yeshterday. (hic!) Robert Mugababy started off with the besht of intenshums. "Let'sh all be lovely (hic!) 'nd happy and let bygones go bye bye," he shed. "No more black aginst white or wheat againsht (hic!) block. Jusht one big happy family." Before he immediately started shending out gangsh of (hic!) armed thugsh to beat up anyone who dishagreed.
D'ye know what? I'll tell you what. Shum of those gansh've been beeting up Anglicansh! (hic!) Yesh, (hic!) no, really! Ye see there'sh thish renegit... rene martin... webel bishop Nolbert Kunonga. He's bad. Oh yesh he's very bad. He's a very bad bishop indeed. (hic!)
So our nice Arshbishup hash gone out there to (hic!) to have a word with Mishter Muvuzela. E'sh told him all about all the bad thingsh that've been happening to Anlicans. Mishter Mugbabies didn't know anything about it! No, nuffin (hic!) at all. Sho now it'sh all gonna be fixed and every'fin in Zimbabwe's gonna be alright from now on.
Brilliant bloke our Archbish. You now, I think thish calls for jusht a teenshy weenshy celebratory sherry. Why not indeed. (hic!)
A couple of weeks ago, councillor Susan McCaffery, a self-confessed Christian, tabled a motion at Billericay town council to introduce prayers at the start of the council meetings.
"When you see the stories about the stock market crash, when you get the riots, the killing, if you have not got God what have you got? I just felt it was so apt," said Ms McCaffery.
The London Stock Exchange must be kicking itself. All those billions knocked off shares. If only Billericay town council had had the foresight to introduce prayers to their meetings, the impending economic collapse could all have been avoided. And what about all those riots in Billericay? Er - there weren't any, despite it's obstinately decadent, secular council.
"If you are contacting God in your deliberations you have His wisdom and guidance in the decisions that you make," she said.
Presumably the council just tosses a coin the rest of the time in order to make decisions.
The chair of the council, John Buchanan, another self-confessed, pointed out that the House of Commons always starts with prayers, and we all know how honourable, upright and careful with taxpayers' money they are .
The council very sensibly defeated the motion by seven votes to three.
"I was a little disappointed, it is something that is part of our tradition," said Mr Buchanan, even though it isn't part of their tradition and never has been.
Wishing to offer a compromise to the poor persecuted Christians, Councillor Edgar Guest suggested that those who wanted to pray could arrive at the meeting early to do so. A perfectly sensible solution you might think, but local Christians don't seem to think so.
One Christian commented that Britain was "like a despotic communist country" for not forcing people to pray to the Christian god.
Another wrote that he was "disgusted", and that "These sorts of attitudes only create cultural divides and alienate the Christian population of this country and those who uphold our time-honoured traditions."
So apparently Christians are feeling disgusted and alienated because they can't force everyone else to pray. But even feeling disgusted and alienated was not enough. A letter in today's local newspaper, expresses "dismay at Billericay council's decision to abandon prayers at council meetings," which of course they haven't - they've simply voted not to introduce them. "One of the ideas behind prayer is to subvert one's own petty bigotries," said the dismayed, disgusted, alienated Christian, "and self-seeking ambitions to a superior will known as God. In my experience politicians are not very good at doing that."
I think the writer may be confusing the debauched Billericay town councillors with its former MP, Harvey Proctor, a notoriously right wing Tory until he was forced to resign in disgrace after his S&M sessions with teenage boys. He was on the Executive Council of the Conservative Monday Club, one of whose values is "The embracing of Christian teaching and morals."
Has anyone mentioned the phone hacking scandal yet? Well, yes, rather too many as a matter of fact. The other day I walked behind a line of reporters with their cameras focused on the House of Commons. Do you know what not one of those reporters did? Not one of them turned to take a picture of me? ME, the Editor of the Tablet, walking right behind them! They never even realised what a fantastic scoop they had, right behind them! ME!
I was going to Lambeth Palace, where I was being joined by various other important Christians. We were talking about the problems of Christians in the Holy Land. The Holy Land is as holy today as it's always been. It's just full of holiness, or in some cases, just full of holes. The Holy Land is full of all sorts holy places, some of which are very holy indeed. All these holy places are filled with holy people doing holy things.
But the number of Christians in the Holy Land is falling. For some reason, a lot of them have been leaving and they don't want to go back, despite it being so holy. So me and my fellow important Christians, invited some of them to Lambeth Palace to say they really should stay in the Holy Land to keep it holy. We need to show solidarity with our fellow Christians.
This leads to a dilemma. Should we only show solidarity with fellow Christians? Then we might not be showing solidarity with our fellow non-Christians. It's all very difficult and puzzling and holy.
It has been brought to our attention that there is a small group of people in this country whose rights are commonly overlooked. Powerless, disenfranchised and with virtually no access to the media, this increasingly impoverished community have been exploited and enslaved with no support from the British establishment. Here at the EHRC we feel that enough is enough. It is time to make a stand for the rights of...
Her Majesty the Queen, the British head of state, speaking on behalf of all Christians, said "One is living in constant fear. The faith that one is the defender of seems to be under constant attack by gangs of militant secularists. They come to one's palace in broad daylight, armed with words, articles, books and all sorts of reasonable arguments. One is even thinking of moving to one of the other states that one is head of."
Speaking from his seat in the House of Lords, the Archbishop of Canterbury declared, "We simply have no one to speak for us in this country."
The EHRC is duty bound to protect persecuted minorities like Christians. For example, did you know that there are still some schools in this country not being run by one of the major Christian denominations? Religions other than Christianity even make regular appearances on Radio 4! That's how bad things have got for Christians!
To this end, EHRC have decided that we have no alternative but to seek redress against two of the major culprits responsible for bullying these poor, defenceless Christians: employers and gays. Several employers have ruthlessly informed Christians that they can't use the employers' uniforms to advertise their religion. We at the EHRC feel it is sensible and proportionate to use state funds to defend Christians in the European Court of Human Rights for their right to wear small crosses around their necks. If Christians can't have exceptions to employers' uniform policy then they run the risk of burning in hell for all eternity, and if that isn't discrimination, I don't know what is.
But this kind of anti-Christian bigotry isn't limited to the country's employers. The crushing power of the state backed gay hegemony has also been pressing it's jack booted heel against the faces of helpless Christians. For years, these fascists have been demanding that gays be treated like normal people. Good Christian registrars and councillors, who wish nothing more than the simple right to discriminate against gays, find themselves unreasonably dismissed. We think a compromise is in order: namely that they be allowed to discriminate by restricting goods and services to people they approve of. Even if they were only allowed to discriminate a little bit, perhaps on alternate days, this would be a huge improvement.
The EHRC: prosecuting those who discriminate against minorities while defending the right to discriminate against minorities. You know it makes sense.
What a sad day it is today. That great defender of public morality and decency, the News of the World, is no more. They enjoyed the great privilige that one so Reverend and Honourable as I, should write a regular column for their magnificent, upstanding organ. Together we fought the stridentness and shrillness of militant secularists. We battled the evil campaigners who seemed to think people should have some say in how and when they should die. We exposed the appalling moral depravity of Max Mosley, a story which this fine newspaper never otherwise deigned to titillate its readers with. We shared our disgust at Nick Griffin's appearance on Question Time, although you have to admit he has a point about immigration and all these burkhas being worn in London. And of course, we fought the good fight to defend we poor, persecuted Christians.
It really is quite distasteful to see all these holier-than-thou MPs and other people of influence, turn upon those whose posteriors they were once so recently want to lick. One can only pray that this will not tarnish, or in any way sully the otherwise good name of News International - that they will continue to be seen as fit and proper people to take full control of BSkyB.
What an unfortunate coincidence that this should happen so soon after the admirable Rebekah Brooks had already announced her intention to sack most of the staff and merge operations with that other fine, noble, Christian newspaper, the Sun. Perhaps I will be able to give the Sun on Sunday readers the benefits of my wisdom?