http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php Copyright 2010, Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty en-US SPHPBLOG 0.5.1 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100208-084014 Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Deontology is what happens when you stop being a Catholic and think morality comes from a book of rules. Catholics' very limited set of rules, based on the catechism, centuries of canon law and the pope being infallible, is why Catholicism is so flexible on changing ethical perceptions.

MPs have mostly stopped being Catholics. That is why they don't understand that being allowed to fiddle your expenses is not the same as actually doing it. You would understand this if you had read Plato, Aristotle, the Old Testament, the New Testament and Thomas Aquinas, but as you probably haven't read Plato, Aristotle, the Old Testament, the New Testament and Thomas Aquinas, you probably haven't realised that just because something is allowed doesn't mean you can do it.

Ever since people stopped being Catholic it has become very unfashionable to talk about virtue, but virtue ethics is making a comeback. In his famous book After Virtue, the famous philosopher Alasdair MacIntyre argued that it's about time virtue ethics made a comeback. He did this after reading Plato, Aristotle, the Old Testament, the New Testament and Thomas Aquinas.

If you want to become a good, moral, person, like Catholics, then all you have to do is practise. However, this presupposes that you have some moral character in the first place. It presupposes that some external agent has imposed our morality upon us, because it's quite impossible that it evolved naturally as it did in all other social animals. And this is my clinching argument. The only other possible source for our morality is my Invisible Magic Friend. This is the kind of incisive, conclusive argument that comes from a life of reading Plato, Aristotle, the Old Testament, the New Testament and Thomas Aquinas.

Listen
Read]]> Courage, hope, perseverance etc., Morality, Longley http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100208-084014 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 08 Feb 2010 08:40:14 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100208-084014 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100208-064704 Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

As Britain's first Sikh judge, I'd like to speak out in favour of Sikhs wearing their ceremonial bangles to school. You see, Sikhs are special and should not be bound by the same rules and laws as ordinary people. You should change your regulations, where appropriate, to do things our way, for ours is the only true, right way. This principle was acknowledged when Sikhs were permitted to wear turbans as part of their police uniform. It is now accepted that being a Sikh constitutes a valid exception to any restriction, regardless of the grounds on which it was devised.

Similarly, although we fully understand and appreciate the reasons for banning knives in schools, such trifling considerations should not apply to us. As everyone knows, Sikhs are religious people and religious people know right from wrong. We're better than the rest of you and can be trusted to carry our knives, which are after all religious knives, without threat to anyone else. Banning our knives is very wrong of you. This is probably due to your lack of education and failure to realise that your rules do not apply to Sikhs. Has no one explained to you that a Sikh will drop dead of an incurable illness if not allowed to carry our traditional weapons?

Unlike so many other, wrong, religions, Sikhism is a religion that doesn't burden itself with unnecessary symbolic clutter. You are not required to accommodate the bizarre traditions of all those other religions, just ours.

Read]]> Not TFTD http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100208-064704 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 08 Feb 2010 06:47:04 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100208-064704 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100206-082000 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Brian here, in Southampton, an associate lecturer at the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity where we envision and equip Christians, and the leaders, churches and organisations that serve them, with the biblical framework, practical resources and models to engage biblically, relevantly and vigorously with the issues they face in today’s world. Hi.

Gerry Adams is a transcendent inspirational leader. MPs are not transcendent inspirational leaders. The England football captain is also not a transcendent inspirational leader.

Clint Eastwood, a transcendent inspirational actor and director, has got a new film out: Invictus. This tells the story of a transcendent inspirational sporting captain: François Pienaar. He was inspired by the second most transcendent inspirational leader of them all: Nelson Mandela.

The most transcendent inspirational leader of them all was of course Jesus, the visible bit of the Invisible Magic Friend. He brought the good news, "I've arrived, I've arrived! I'm finally here. Everything's just gonna be hunky-dory from now on." And everything has indeed been hunky-dory from then on.

Listen
Read]]> Courage, hope, perseverance etc., Draper http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100206-082000 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Sat, 06 Feb 2010 08:20:00 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100206-082000 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100205-075957 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

You all thought you could continue with infinite consumption. You maxed out on credit cards, car loans and huge mortgages on dream homes. You stopped going to church and went to Homebase instead, ignoring the commandment to keep the Sabbath. You thought the market and materialism was all there was to life. You'd forgotten about the really important things in life: family, friends, religion. Typical Radio 4 listeners.

Well now you're stuck aren't you? Overloaded with debt, unemployed, struggling on benefits. I don't like to say I told you so, but I did tell you so. Over and over and over again I warned you about the false god of unrestrained materialism, but you didn't pay any attention to me. As a Rev Canon Dr and an Anglican priest, let me just assure you that I'm doing alright in the recession. Vicars are never unemployed, which just goes to show the benefits of all those spiritual values of mine. I even got a new car out of the car scrappage scheme, thus ensuring gainful employment for car makers in Germany.

And Bankers? Don't talk to me about bankers. They should run their businesses the way Jesus would. He said to give loans to small businesses and then not ask for the money back. That's the way to run a bank.

Listen
Read]]> Materialism, Billings http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100205-075957 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:59:57 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100205-075957 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100205-074138
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/ProtestthePope/]]> http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100205-074138 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:41:38 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100205-074138 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100204-084029 Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

It's the end of civilisation as we know it. America can no longer afford to return to the moon. The money is needed to sustain bankers' bonuses instead. Nobody can afford to go to the moon any longer (except China).

When the Roman Empire fell 1600 years ago, it was Christianity that held Europe together, thus giving the world music, architecture, literature, religion, philosophy, politics and science, that would otherwise have been lost everywhere (except China). All civilisations eventually fall (except China), so the West must eventually fall too. Saint Augustine the Hippo, who was living in Algeria, which together with modern day Morocco, Tunisia, Libya, Egypt, Israel, Lebanon, Syria, Turkey, Greece, Bulgaria, Albania, Romania, Serbia, Bosnia, Macedonia and Croatia, was one of the few remaining remnants of that shattered empire, knew that all civilisations eventually fall (except China).

"All civilisations fall," he said (except China). But never fear, not all things are as transient and fleeting as human civilisation (except China). The Kingdom of the Invisible Magic Friend (everyone knows that the only proper form of government is an absolute monarchy) will last even longer than China and all you have to do to get in is believe in it. Yes, that's it! Just click your heels three times and say "I believe Invisible Magic Friend, I believe!" This is called being knowledgeable and wise.

Of course, if you don't believe what I'm telling you, if you don't have faith that the Kingdom of the Invisible Magic Friend will last longer than China, then that makes you a rotter, an atheist, probably some sort of communist sympathiser and you'll have to go to the other place.

Listen
Read]]> Lessons of history, Tilby http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100204-084029 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Thu, 04 Feb 2010 08:40:29 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100204-084029 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100203-084419 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Terry Pratchett's Dimbleby lecture sets out a reasoned and articulate case for assisted dying. He is of course wrong.

Many people assume that just because religious texts go on and on and on about how the body is a temple holding your invisible magic bit and it is immensely sinful and evil and wrong to kill yourself, that this somehow puts us at odds with the case for assisted dying. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Many sages and saints have prepared for death by starving themselves and have thus departed this world in an agonisingly spiritual way. This is not sinful and evil and wrong because they are not using western medicines to alleviate pain or hasten the process of death. They have simply decided not to go on living, which is a different thing entirely.

Listen
Read]]> Health, Akhandadhi Das http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100203-084419 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Wed, 03 Feb 2010 08:44:19 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100203-084419 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100203-072237
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUrMcQ3ro0E



I haven't laughed so much since the Coldstream Guards accidentally played the Emperor's Theme for the state visit of the King of Saudi Arabia.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Loaj4bXLrD4]]> Not TFTD http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100203-072237 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Wed, 03 Feb 2010 07:22:37 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100203-072237 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100202-093211
Rev Dr Dr Joel Edwards put in a strong showing by pointing out that only fools think religious division causes fear, hatred, suspicion and inter-religious warfare.

Rev Dr Giles Fraser, in one of his many outstanding contributions this month, told us that people don't want a merciful God. Mercy is for wimps. They want a vengeful, pitiless God that'll smite sinners properly.

In his second nominated entry this month, Rev Dr Giles Fraser castigated people who think rationally. Thinking rationally in circumstances such as the Haiti earthquake, is in such bad taste.

Dom Antony Sutch also gave us his thoughts on sin and evil and natural disaster and evil and sin.

There have been so many other high scorers this month that I won't list them all, but special mentions go to Rev Dr Giles Fraser (yet again!) for his thought that all the best scientists were Christians, Catherine Pepinster for telling us that human altruism must come from God because we're all so nice, Clifford Longley for reminding us how liberal the Catholic Church is about sex, and Brian Draper, for pointing out that a fall in the crime statistics is exactly what you would expect from humanity being saved.

And many, many more, but even among these many fine contributions, the runaway winner this month, with a thought that delicately combined the most superb platitudinousness with intricate threads of being alternatively insulting and patronising goes to Rev Angela Tilby for suggesting that people don't vote because they don't go to church any more and have consequently become immoral and selfish and don't care about justice and stuff like we Christians do.

Very well done indeed Rev Angela.]]> Clemmies http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100202-093211 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Tue, 02 Feb 2010 09:32:11 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100202-093211 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100202-085917 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Happy Candlemash day everyone! (Hic!) 'Sh time o' hope 'nd joy 'n shtuff. I mean Jeshush (hic!) Jeshush shacrificed himshelf to make the world a better place 'n jusht look (hic!), jusht look how mush better 'tis. And it'sh Groundhog Day too, when liddle critters do shum weather forecashting.

Now I know what you're all (hic!) all thinking. You're thinking, "that global warming shtuff's a load a rubbish", that'sh what your (hic!) thinking, what wiv glashiers not meltin and ush getting all shnowed in. But no. No, no, no, no (hic!) no. You've got to shacrifise like Jeshush did. Don't throw out all the cuddly toysh 'cause 've Climategate.

I'm gonna keep on shacrifishing 'fings (hic!). I'm the Bishop of Shufrock. It'sh what I do.

Listen
Read]]> Environment, Butler http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100202-085917 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Tue, 02 Feb 2010 08:59:17 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100202-085917 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-170158
http://www.secularism.org.uk/petition-the-pm.html
]]> Not TFTD http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-170158 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:01:58 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100201-170158 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-092018
It all started innocently enough on Saturday morning when an email that I'd seen the previous day on my laptop failed to appear on my desktop machine. Several hours of investigation later and I finally understood the meaning of all those emails from Virgin Media explaining that they were going to improve my email experience by migrating all my email to Google, but not to worry, just sit back and they would handle everything smoothly and seamlessly for me.

Most personal email gets sent around the internet using a very well established protocol called the Post Office Protocol Version 3 (POP3). It hops from server to server until you eventually download it to your PC when it gets deleted from your ISP's server. Most email readers have an option to defer the deletion so that you can read your email on laptops and mobile phones but still download it later to your main PC. It's not a particularly secure system. Any of the servers that route your mail to you can eavesdrop on what gets sent, although you can always encrypt messages if you feel that strongly. It's a very well established, unsexy means of communication.

A growing alternative has been web based email such as Hotmail and Google Mail (Gmail). These work quite differently. In this approach all your emails get stored on a central server, possibly forever. This allows the holder of your emails to scan them for personalised advertising and other nefarious purposes, but that's OK because you agreed to that when you signed up to their service. (You did read all that small print, didn't you?) I've always avoided services like this. I don't particularly have anything to hide and even if I did, I wouldn't be so naive as to put it in a plaintext email, but I just don't like the idea of some mega-corporation routinely scanning all the mail I send and all the mail I receive. Even if I agreed to their terms and conditions, the people sending me emails certainly didn't. As the case of the Chinese human rights activists shows, such platforms are also inherently less secure.

Imagine my horror therefore, when I went to my Virgin Media Webmail on Saturday and discovered that every email sent to me over the last month was now sitting on a Google server, including every comment posted to this blog. Naturally I've deleted them now and taken steps to ensure that no communications from this blog now go anywhere near Virgin Media. I'm also in the process of migrating my personal email to a new address that also doesn't use Virgin. It's only taken me the bulk of the weekend. Virgin Media, one of the largest ISPs in the country, no longer has an industry standard POP3 service available. The reaction when this is pointed out on their help forum? "That's the platform and it isn't going to change."

Just be aware. If you have a Virgin, Blueyonder or NtlWorld email, or you send to such an address, or comment on a blog that communicates via such an address, then you're being Googled.]]> Not TFTD http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-092018 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 01 Feb 2010 09:20:18 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100201-092018 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-084704 Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

As with so many aspects of daily life, when deciding when to go to war, one naturally consults a theologian. Of course, most theologians are dead and have passed into the invisible magic world. We obviously can't talk to people in the invisible magic world (to claim that would be just silly) so distinguished personages and opinion formers, such as the distinguished Editor of The Times, consult distinguished Catholic gentlemen such as oneself, for a summary of theological arguments.

Saint Tony of Bliar, a distinguished Catholic, may not have consulted with his distinguished chancellor on whether to invade Iraq, but he did consult Thomas Aquinas. Unfortunately, not being so skilled in theology as distinguished persons such as oneself, he got it wrong. Aquinas was trying to understand Christ's entreaty to "love your enemies". Obviously this is not meant to be taken literally. As a highly skilled theologian of the Catholic Church, Aquinas was able to show that what Christ actually meant was: "invade their territory, destroy everything they've built, steal all their riches, kill all the men, rape all the women and enslave all the children". Thus demonstrating, once again, the wide ranging, practical value of Theology.

It is a sad indictment of our modern world that the Chilcott Enquiry spent virtually no time whatsoever consulting distinguished theologians such as Saint Thomas Aquinas. Instead, they seem to be obsessed about pathetic little details like whether the Iraq war was legal. I mean, who cares about International Law? George W. Bush, a distinguished Christian gentleman, certainly didn't.

Listen
Read]]> Theology, War, Longley http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100201-084704 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 01 Feb 2010 08:47:04 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=02&entry=entry100201-084704 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100130-135058 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Brian here, in Southampton, an associate lecturer at the London Institute for Contemporary Christianity where we envision and equip Christians, and the leaders, churches and organisations that serve them, with the biblical framework, practical resources and models to engage biblically, relevantly and vigorously with the issues they face in today’s world. Hi.

Can you summarise a life in six words? "Andy Murray nearly won at tennis?" or "JD Salinger wrote a good book" or "Saint Tony wants to invade Iran."

Most of us, well most of "you" actually, will never be remembered - not even having been on Thought For The Day. Most of us (i.e. you) will simply disappear down the plughole of history; your insignificant, pointless little lives forgotten by all. We spiritual people have freed ourselves from ambition by recognising how irrelevant you all are. We also recognise that the universe couldn't possibly continue without us and therefore there must be an afterlife.

Mother Teresa who became so famous for helping the poor, achieved stardom by not being a star. If you gave up all ambition then who knows, maybe you too would become famous.

Listen
Read]]> Humility, Draper http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100130-135058 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Sat, 30 Jan 2010 13:50:58 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100130-135058 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100129-085644 Rating 3 out of 5 (Fairly platitudinous)

Billy Bragg has started a campaign to withhold tax until Royal Bank of Scotland bonuses are curtailed. As a hard working writer, celebrity and Christian, I'm tempted to join him. Then I remember the education, social services and health care that all my hard earned tax provides for less fortunate people like you, and I relent. America, the most Christian nation in the western world, still hasn't quite decided whether poor people ought to be treated when they're sick.

Naturally, as always in holy discussions about tax, we refer to the famous Gospel passage on the subject. Jesus, a sort of 1st century Billy Bragg, asked by the Pharisees to give a straight answer to a straight question, replied "Give what's due to Caesar and also what's due to the Invisible Magic Friend, i.e. me." This is clearly a complex, multi-faceted instruction that has to be examined at different levels in order to extract its full implications. Fortunately you have a famous writer, celebrity and Christian here to disentangle its meaning, to explore its many and wondrous theological ramifications, and to derive the moral and humanitarian message buried within. Jesus is in fact instructing us to meditate upon our priorities in life while filling in our tax form.

Listen
Read]]> Brook http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100129-085644 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Fri, 29 Jan 2010 08:56:44 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100129-085644 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100128-085457 Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

There are some good things in the recent Social Attitudes survey. Most of us are now more tolerant of gays and divorcees. On the whole this is a good thing, unless they want to become bishops of course. The Church, as always, has been at the very forefront of championing gay, cohabiting and divorcee rights.

However there are also some bad things in the report. Church attendance is down as is willingness to vote. Coincidence? I think not. I don't think anyone would argue that there's any causal relationship between the decline in church influence and more tolerant attitudes, however not going to church clearly affects people's willingness to vote. The fact that, ideologically, there is nothing to choose between the two main parties has nothing to do with it. You see, as people stop going to church they become less moral, lazier and more self-centred. Without the discipline of sitting on a hard wooden bench, listening to the Invisible Magic Friend speaking through me, you've lost that willingness to fulfil your civic duty. You no longer have any sense of justice, honesty or virtue. So naturally, with no conscience any more, you just don't care and so can't be bothered voting.

Listen
Read]]> Democracy, Morality, Tilby http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100128-085457 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Thu, 28 Jan 2010 08:54:57 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100128-085457 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100128-071728
Three times in a row I've returned from the States and been struck down with a debilitating virus. It always follows exactly the same pattern: extreme runny nose, violent coughing (so violent on the first occasion that I ended up in hospital with the most excruciating muscular pain I've ever had), followed by a day or two of being completely out of it and then a very sudden recovery (I'm still waiting for the recovery bit this time).

It could be coincidence but I'm beginning to wonder. I think I read once that bugs get recycled by aircraft air conditioning. As I've got diabetes, it's possible that a lowered immune response makes me more susceptible to infection. But if it's that simple, why do I never get ill on the way out?

There are a couple of possibilities.

- Adrenalin and excitement on the way out might help.
- Night time flights on the way back seem to keep the cabin air temperature lower.
- I tend to be exhausted after our holidays - pushing a guy around in a wheelchair for two weeks is hard work, that I have to admit I'm not used to. I'm thinking I may just opt for a beach holiday next time with lots of reading and being drip fed pina coladas.
- The Invisible Magic Friend is punishing me for gross over indulgence.

Any ideas anyone?]]> Not TFTD http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100128-071728 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Thu, 28 Jan 2010 07:17:28 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100128-071728 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100127-095304 Holocaust Memorial Day is too important an event to be used for mockery. The lessons of hatred and prejudice, exercised on the industrial scale of the Nazis, still haven't been learned, as the people of Rwanda can testify. Only the other day we had the fascist thugs of the English Defence League attacking mosques and intimidating Muslim taxi drivers. We all know who these people are. They're not brave defenders of secular values, or even of Christian values, they're the Paki-bashers of the 70s out in force again, egged on by the constant demonisation of Muslims in rags like the Daily Mail.

It's because Holocaust Memorial Day is so relevant today that I found the Chief Rabbi's TFTD so uplifting, until that is he started rabbitting on about Faith and deliberately confusing Faith in his god with more verifiable and tangible forms of Faith. I don't know whether Faith in God or Faith in humanity inspired the fighters and archivists of the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising. I do know that they must have been very brave, very angry people, willing to stand up to the might of the German army rather than calmly accept the fate that had been decided for them. Their nobility and humanity speak for themselves. To use this as a propaganda instrument for his Invisible Magic Friend demeans their memory.

Answer me this Chief Rabbi: where was your God during the Holocaust?

Listen
Read]]> Lessons of history, Sacks http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100127-095304 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Wed, 27 Jan 2010 09:53:04 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100127-095304 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100126-084943 Rating 5 out of 5 (Extraordinarily platitudinous)

Amidst its first post civil war elections, tension is mounting among the majority Buddhists about the role of the minority Hindus in Sri Lanka society. Meanwhile, amidst postponed elections in Afghanistan, tension is mounting between the fanatical religious extremists, the Taliban, and the slightly less fanatical religious extremists that constitute the remainder of the population. Meanwhile, amidst power sharing problems in Northern Ireland, tension is mounting between Catholics and Protestants.

Some foolish, naive people, who aren't even Rev Dr Drs, might conclude that religion has a corrosive effect on the democratic process. Nothing could be further from the truth as centuries of history throughout the world ably demonstrates. The isolated examples above are simply the exceptions that prove the rule. True religion, my religion, is a big fan of democracy and always has been. Even today, Christianity continues to press for democratic reform of the House of Lords and the removal of the privileged position of the bishops.

True religion, my religion, has a long democratic tradition. When the people of Israel demanded a king, the Invisible Magic Friend dissuaded them. He told them to form a constitutional convention to establish checks and balances between the executive, the legislature and the judiciary and to agree a fair system for free and regular elections, thus banishing theocracy and hereditary monarchy from Israel forever.

So we should welcome the role of religion in bringing democracy to the world. If only Sri Lanka, Afghanistan and Northern Ireland would embrace true religion, my religion, then they too would benefit from the peaceful democratic values that true religion has given us.

Listen
Read]]> Democracy, Edwards http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100126-084943 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Tue, 26 Jan 2010 08:49:43 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100126-084943 http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100125-115621 Rating 4 out of 5 (Highly platitudinous)

Surprisingly, the government and opposition are disagreeing about something. This time it's about marriage. The Conservatives (fine upstanding Christian party that they are) want everyone to live in a state of holy matrimony, whereas Labour (evil socialists) want everyone to wallow in sin. The Invisible Magic Friend has decreed that lifelong heterosexual monogamy is the only allowed form of sex and it is therefore the Church's business what you all get up to between the sheets. It's why so many people care about what the Church thinks about marriage.

Catholic Priests have taken a particular interest in the sex lives of young boys, making them confess to any sexual naughtiness that they might get up to in orphanages, Church schools or Scout troops and making sure that they are properly punished over a priest's knee. This ensures that Catholics grow up with a healthy, guilty attitude to just how dirty and shameful sex is.

To hear some people talk you'd think the Church was obsessed about sex but the Catholic Church is actually notoriously liberal on the subject. We have to be. Marriage is big business. So to capture our fair share of the market we can hardly go around denouncing the filthy, sinful lifestyles of debauched cohabitants. We'll happily overlook their squalid past provided they hire the church and the priest and hand over the money. As always, it's so nice to see the Church taking the moral high ground.

Listen
Read]]> Sex, Longley http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/index.php?entry=entry100125-115621 Rev. Dr. Peter Hearty Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:56:21 GMT http://www.platitudes.org.uk/platblog/comments.php?y=10&m=01&entry=entry100125-115621