VERSION|0.5.1|NAME|Graham|DATE|1387629778|CONTENT|(In the style of a Bob Newhart telephone monologue)

It is early evening.

In a penthouse somewhere on the far side of the Pearly Gates a celestial telephone rings.

Matthew here....  Hey Luke!  I thought you&#039;d gone on a cloud-hopping week-end.... Emergency? …. He wants what?....  A tidied up version of the Christmas story?  Get rid of all the rubbish about Christmas trees and mistletoe and get right back to the basic truth about Christmas as told in the Gospels?  No problem, we just get together with Mark and John and.... What do you mean, “They&#039;re not having anything to do with it”?.... NOTHING?!  You mean neither of them put anything down about Christmas at all?  What do they think- Christ was born at thirty or something?  This is serious Luke.  

Look, we&#039;d better make sure we get all our facts straight.  You know the bit about the Wise Men from the East?....  What do you mean, you don&#039;t know anything about any Wise Men?....  What?!  Swaddling clothes?!  Manger?!  Are you crazy- I don&#039;t know anything about any manger.... Shepherds?  An angel coming down to some shepherds?  You&#039;re joking?

Look, are you sure we&#039;re talking about the same person?.... Jesus? Yeah, that&#039;s him.... Bethlehem?  Right! At least we got the same person and the same place.  More than those two no-goods Mark and John managed to get hey?....  Holy Ghost?  Wow, that&#039;s right, I mentioned that too!....  “The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee”.  Hey, that&#039;s real nice Luke.  Kinda poetic y&#039;know.

But do you mean that&#039;s it?  Between the four of us we can only agree on his name, his place of birth and who his father was?  That kinda feels a bit sketchy somehow Luke.  

[thoughtful pause]

Say, d&#039;you know the guys who started off the bit about the Christmas trees and mistletoe?  Maybe we could get together with them and...|IP-ADDRESS|95.144.104.28|MODERATIONFLAG|