VERSION|0.5.1|NAME|Dinah|DATE|1368709744|CONTENT|I am now of an age when I go to more funerals than weddings, but at least the former have the advantage of being reasonably short.  In the old days, when I was young, weddings were comparatively short too.  The ceremony took place in the late morning, then straight off to a hotel for the photos, reception and speeches.  Soon after teatime the happy couple would go upstairs to change, and then depart for the honeymoon with a couple of tin cans tied to the back of the car and a ‘just married’ sign in the rear window.  In that era, the bride at any rate was supposed to be a virgin, so perhaps this arrangement allowed more time for the couple to have a bit of foreplay before their (allegedly) first time together.  The guests were left in peace to go home and have a couple of stiff drinks, to take away the taste of flat champagne and cold tea.

Nowadays, the weddings often last longer than the ensuing marriage, with the couple hanging around for a whole weekend or more, with ghastly thumping ‘music’ going on to the early hours, and consequently no sleep or sex for them or anyone else.  It all becomes a bit of an endurance test, so no wonder so many of these marriages fail, not to mention those of the guests.
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