VERSION|0.5.1|NAME|Dinah|DATE|1360665514|CONTENT|The only thing that saved this oleaginous sycophantic waffle from being completely vomit-inducing was its entirely unintended humour.  Indeed, I don’t think there was any need for the Rev Dr Peter to parody it as it successfully parodied itself.  I almost expected the man with all those names to tell us in hushed reverential tones how the Holy Father had invited him into his private lavatory where he’d had the unique and unforgettable privilege of being allowed to observe the passing of the Infallible One’s motions.

It just exemplifies how out of touch these allegedly untouched by female hands Cardinals are, when they go on a flagship news programme where the listeners will be a mixture of different faiths, sceptics, disbelievers and the indifferent, and deliver a message which could only be taken seriously by devout Catholics capable of swallowing the words whole without succumbing to even the mildest case of dyspepsia or hysteria.

If the electors of the next Pope want to avoid most of the next Pontificate just being another re-run of this one, ie watching an old man rant while in terminal decline, then the solution is to elect a younger man.  (I think we can confidently predict that the next Pope will not be a woman, Richard Dawkins, or even next door’s cat, although next door’s cat informs me he might be up for it if fed daily on his favourite variety of cat food from Waitrose).

The problem with electing a younger Pope is (a) are there any infant Cardinals (ie anyone under 60) eligible for the post? And (b) electing someone in their late forties or early fifties means they are likely to be Pontificating for a very long time.  If they turn out to be a disaster they will be disastrous for an equally long time, unless poisoned by the infamous Machiavellian machinators in the Vatican.
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