VERSION|0.5.1|NAME|HarryR|DATE|1357219054|CONTENT|@HornsDino 

[blockquote]...in which a father whose son had been killed had gone on the news to say he had forgiven his son&#039;s killers.[/blockquote]

This always confuses me when I read or see this on TV. That this happens at a time of intense shock and grief demands that it be taken seriously. This is not some noisy parading of their faith. This is personal, whether a component of their faith or not. Neither do I have a view of openly religious people who refuse to publicly declared their forgiveness for someone who has seriously harmed them.

Firstly I&#039;m not sure what is meant by &#039;forgive&#039;. Presumably someone close to a murder victim does not expect the killer to be escape all punishment and as murder is a criminal offence the pursuit and punishment of murderers is a State function and the views of relatives are not considered. Interestingly, this apparently differs from Arab laws which allow the family of the perpetrator to pay blood-money to the family of the victim. I&#039;m not sure of the details or how it works in practice. Does the killer then walk free or is punishment commuted in some way?

Some people are motivated by grief and purpose to found some charity or group that will reduce the risk of the same event happening to someone else, as do people who lose someone thru illness. These groups are a very useful support to those who suffer a similar fate or their friends and families.

Perhaps a willingness to forgive stops the development of blood-feuds that can cause an act of violence to provoke a domino-like cascade a wave of violence within and between groups. If the films are to believed such feuds can continue through generations. Declaring forgiveness can be a courageous call for others not to meet violence with violence and attempt to defang an escalating conflict.

Perhaps it can also be a declaration of a wish not to be consumed by rage and hate of someone/group. It is possible to accept the reality while regretting that it is as it is.

Such pronouncements are possible knowing that the legal process will run, that the guilty will be punished by the loss of their freedom. Those perpetrators will have the opportunity to reflect on their lives and what they&#039;ve done. Perhaps knowing that someone close to their victim has forgiven them, however they interpret that, will be another seed for thought.

How does it feel to be forgiven? Imagine you&#039;ve killed someone, been arrested bang to rights and see on TV the mother/child/father/brother/lover/business partner and best friend since primary school thrust into the public gaze and facing the glare of camera lights or jabbed with microphones, aware of perhaps grim details of suffering and announces that they forgive you. What would that mean to you in that situation? 

What of the victim? If you were killed for crass reasons would it be right for your killer to be &#039;forgiven&#039; by any of those close to you? Shouldn&#039;t there be vengeance as well as retribution? Should the punishment of murder simply be being imprisoned so you can&#039;t do it again and thereby protecting the rest of us?

Or if you were close to someone who has suffered violence, how would you react to hearing another who was close expressing forgiveness for the perpetrator?|IP-ADDRESS|109.170.228.10|MODERATIONFLAG|